Draft George Bush.
Draft Donald Rumsfeld.
Draft Bill O'Reilly.
Draft Paul Bremer.
Draft Condoleeza Rice.
Draft Dick Cheney.
Draft Jonah Goldberg.
Draft Paul Wolfowitz, Douglas Feith, Richard Perle, Steven Hadley, Eliot Abrams, Dan Bartlett, and Mitch Daniels.
Draft John Bolton.
Draft Ann Coulter.
Draft John Negroponte.
Bring our kids back and let the big-mouthed cowards instigating and cheering on these conflicts pick up a gun and some MREs and get their draft-dodging, morality-slandering, history-rewriting, intelligence-fixing, diplomacy-gutting, basement-hiding, cowboys-and-indians-playing, gutless-wondering asses out on the front lines in Iran, and Syria, and Afghanistan, and Iraq, and show us how it's done, and maybe we'll send them some body armor when their families cough up the dough. Let's have them demonstrate to us how a show of force can really clarify things.
Because maybe I'm just being obtuse, but I don't think we've had a chance to see it yet. I think we just need our leaders and their minions to show us by example, so we know how it's done. Obviously we're doing it all wrong, because they aren't throwing flowers at us in Iraq, and the girls are being thrown out of school and re-burqa-ized in Afghanistan. Show us, our leaders; show us, mighty scribes. Show us how to to be brave, and die with dignity.
I know you like that when other people do it for you. I know you like to talk a tough game, about the hard, cold realities of life on the ground in worlds you've never set foot in, and you like to sit above it all like God in the sky, gazing down on these poor mortals and pronouncing this or that "good", and you maybe offer your tepid regrets over their sad but necessary fates, but you never let your hearts be swayed from the hard work of sticking it to the faceless millions, because doin' things is what you like to do. But we're all such fuck-ups down here that we can't get it right. They all hate us now, and we can't seem to get them to just shutup and sit down, so you'd better get out there and show us how. Don't worry about the IEDs and the snipers and the random rocket fire. Walter Reed is still there if you get maimed, but hurry up and do it before 2011. And there is still money for medical care, even though the 2007 budget proposed cuts totalling $10.3 billion over the next five years, with the cuts reaching 13 percent in 2011. Don't worry about us: we'll go back to our homes and crowd around the TV and watch you for awhile.
When you've finally gotten it right, let us know. We've got lives to live.
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